For example looking at the contraversial topic of formula feeding vs breast feeding
When i was pregnant with my first child i had done my research on everything to do with pregnancy and newborns , i went to every antenatal class and by the time i was 9 months i could have run my own antenatal class . Throughout my whole pregnancy every professional , friend or just someone who wanted to have an opinion about my life had informed me that i had to breastfeed and if i didn't i would be failing as a parent ( please note everyone that told me this was a women ) . So that was fine i was determined i was going to breastfeed after all they said it's simple , there is nothing to it , it's natural , the baby knows what to do . Well you can imagine my surprise when my darling daughter was born and didn't know how to feed from me , day 5 came around and my baby was very jaundice and wasn't passing urine so off to the doctor we went AGAIN !!! we got told to go to a lactation clinic so off we went , they were so lovely at the clinic it was all set up so nicely and i was shown how to feed , my girl had a good feed and finally she was asleep , however back at home it was a different story , she just wasn't getting enough milk we tried everything , expressing into a wee cup , expressing into every shape bottle and teat possible we did everything we could but she was still hungary and wasn't getting what she needed from me ( not to mention my breasts were raw and bleeding at every feed or pump (( they didn't tell me about the pain of breastfeeding at my antenatal classes)) ) so after yet another call to the health line and plunket we were advised to put her on formula and do mixed feeding that did the trick she had some formula and finally the crying stopped and sleep began by 3 month she was fully on formula.
Now having a baby on formula when everyone seems to be pushing breastfeeding was hard , whenever i was in public and had to feed my daughter i would get dirty looks from women when i pulled out the bottle even family and friends would give me dirty looks or explain to me that i was a bad mother as i had failed my child by turing to formula , it was horrid ,as a new and young mum i felt i had failed as a parent even though my daughter was thriving . I hated going to the doctors and i was drilled by the nurses as to why i wasn't breastfeeding .
I eventually got talking to other mums who had trouble breastfeeding and were giving their babies formula and were also feeling like they had failed as parents . This got me rather mad and it was at that point that i realized that people will always have an opinion and want to give me advice on what to do , but i was my daughters mum and i was doing everything to be a good mum and i wasn't going to let anyone feel like i wasn't a good parent again .
When i found out i was pregnant with my second daughter i of course was asked if i was going to breastfeed or formula feed and i happily said I'm going to try breastfeeding again but if it doent work I WILL FORMULA FEED and that was that . My daughter was born and i tried breastfeeding and it took off my daughter knew what to do and i am still breastfeeding her now at 7 months .
So im breastfeeding surly now no one will judge right ? ... Wrong now when i go out in public and i have to feed i get dirty looks from other women , others will ask why i am STILL breastfeeding ??!! at this point i realized it's us women that make other women , other mums feel awful about their parenting , i mean you don't hear a man complaining that a child has been fed formula or that a women is breastfeeding her child in a public place so why do us women do it to one another when we know about how hard parenting is ? why do we feel we need to have an opinion about another mums parenting ? shouldn't we be each others advocates supporting one another no mater how different our parenting styles are ?
My girls both fed different but both thriving and healthy :)
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